Some serious saree-blouse business

Oh, I feel like I'd been gone for a long time. Anyway, I’m back. So what was I doing all these days? Trying to put down some notes for an event I was supposed to compere, looking up trivia questions, cross-checking the answers and tending to a few other things like that. And of course there was all the cooking and cleaning and trying to keep the little one engaged through all of this. In the midst of all that, a wedding anniversary came and went, ever so quietly, that it didn’t really feel like it was a special day. :(

Now preparations for the event also meant pulling out suitcases that haven’t been out of the closet for 365 days at least, and trying to find a saree that I could use. Now finding a saree actually means finding a blouse that fits. The last time I bought a saree and got a blouse stitched for it, was 6 years ago when I was getting ready to enter wedlock. Around then I’d bought quite a few and for next two years I got to wear a few of them for a some friends' weddings, engagement functions and receptions that came my way. Then we moved to CA and now I barely get to see myself in the oh-so-sensual outfit.

In the 6 years that have gone by, there’s been a baby and whole lot of putting-on-pounds. So actually none of those blouses fit me as they are. For those of you who do not know how saree blouses are stitched, let me tell you that the tailors put in 2-3 rows of stitches along the sides. The stitches run up to the end of the sleeves and so if you’ve added some fat to yourself, you can actually rip off a row or two of stitches. As such, I spent a good part of last week, bent over a couple of blouses, working on those threads and hoping that they’d fit me before I got to the last row of stitches.

Finally, feeling I could fight my way into one of them, I tried it and managed to put on the hooks, even. I was examining the fit and feeling quite good about all the hard work when my 3 year old came peeping in. He looked at the strange piece of clothing I had on and said, “No Molu. It doesn’t fit, Molu.” I was wondering what he was talking about, because it really did fit me fine, when he added, "It (the blouse) has become small for you, I can see your tummy!!"

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Little does the poor kid know how long (or short) the saree blouse is supposed to be. :D

Now he must think me very stupid

I should have known after the 'Do you know where China is' incident, that I should not look for opportunities for showing off my knowledge in Geography. Now my 3-year-old thinks I'm stupid, I'm sure.

The other day we picked up Ratatouille for some bed time reading. He opened the book to look at the pictures and on the inside cover of the book was a picture of the Eiffel Tower. Trying to do some small talk as I got ready to sit down to the reading, I pointed out to the tower in the picture and told him that, that was the Eiffel Tower and asked him – again not expecting him to give me an answer – Do you know where this tower is?

Then in a tone that clearly meant 'What a dumb question,' he says, "In the book," and shows me the picture. He must think me very stupid, now. Well, he now 'knows' I'm stupid. I guess that's why the next day when he asked me for some water and I asked if it was for him or for the teddy bear in his arms he sardonically said, "For me. The teddy does not have a mouth."
Uh – ok!

Do you know where China is?

One day I was sitting slouched on the couch examining a toy when I read aloud from it, "Made in China." Then I just looked at my then almost-three-year-old and casually asked him, "Baby, do you know where China is?" 
I wasn't expecting an answer, neither was I expecting him to know it.  In answer he nodded his head and said, "Hmm... on the globe." I sat up straight and my eyes almost popped out. Wasn't he right! 

His Vtech toy-globe. This is where China is. 

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Tamasha of the day

We must be so resented

We moms, especially the stay-at-home kind,
Must be so very resented.
We must seem like hags to you little ones
For dictating your little lives.

Every morning we draw those blissful blinds
And wake you up from dreamland.
Whether you’re hungry or not, breakfast, lunch
And dinner are a must.

We limit TV-time, playtime, junk food,
And everything else that spells fun.
We give lectures about veggies and the need
To brush your teeth.

Till you pick up after yourselves, Till you
Finish that last morsel on your plate,
Till you finish your homework and
Pare those toenails, we pester you.

We point out what’s socially unacceptable
What’s naughty and what is nice.
We switch off the lights and put
A full stop to your  fun-filled day.

We decide what the world would call you.
We put an end to the luxury of diapers,
Allow the doctors to prick you,
And even pick out your clothes, shoes and toys.

Oh! we must seem like horrible, horrible women
Who mark your boundaries.
We moms, really must be so very resented
For breathing down your necks.

Previous mommy-post - Of mommy-guilt and mommy's separation anxiety

Of mommy-guilt and mommy's separation anxiety

I chose to play stay-at-home-mom for a while. The idea was to keep an eye on my little one at least till he was able to talk. Much as I loved being a working professional, I've always wanted to be able to stay at home when my kid(s) were very little, unless of course, I couldn't afford to.

I know that there are places that offer excellent daycare. I know that there are some great nannies out there too, who probably would do a better job than I do. It is just that I was not comfortable with any arrangement other than my watching over my kid till he was fairly good with words. I admit I'm not the best mother in the whole world. I don't spend every minute of my day with him. I don't give him undivided attention all day long. I spend a good part of the day doing my chores and my reading and trying to find some time to do some blogging, amongst a whole lot of other things. I do feel guilty about not spending more  'quality time' with him. I guess mommy-guilt is here to stay, no matter what. Even if I were to spend all my hours playing with him, I'd still have felt the guilt every time I had to make a trip to the loo.

Even though the guilt lingers, even though I continue to miss work and a part of me is crabby about having put my career on hold, I have been happy about one thing -the fact that 'I' have been in charge of my precious little baby.

Now the toddler can talk. He can communicate. He's tired of his toys and probably bored of seeing too much of mommy and daddy. It's time he ventured out of the protective walls of his home. It's time he had his own friends and its time his world got a little bigger. And now that he can express himself, it is the right time for preschool; a few days a week at least.

I'm prepared more than ever to let him go. Considering the stage of life that he is in, I am a braver mother. I could actually do with a few guilt-free hours to do my own things. I should be happy for that, and I guess I am. But I worry too.

I know my baby can tell his teacher if he needs something. I know he can come home at noon and tell me if something was not right at school that day. I know I should learn to trust some more people with my boy. Yet, anxiety is getting the better of me. I just filled up a few pages of his admission form, and the questions about what has to be done in the case of an emergency are freaking me out. I know the school wants to do the right thing with my consent but I'm getting all choked up.

Techies, HELP*

Now baby has a phone like mommy's. The only problem is that the chunkier colourful one gets lost every now and then. Then little `big boss' manages to get mommy gone on a search for the thing. Mommy wishes it were an easier job. If only we could give it a ring and find out just where it is, like we do when we misplace our adult cellphones.

Toy techies, could you find some way to make it easier to locate toy phones. And while you're at that, could you find away to locate missing television remote controls too. Mommies and daddies everywhere would appreciate that.

* This post was lying in my drafts since I-don't-know-when. Mommy has moved on to her next phone but the above issues  continue. Please HELP!

Before meets after

Before I became a mommy I had much better hair. I needed no hair products save some coconut oil and some Pantene shampoo. My crowning glory even did some  modelling for a feature on hair care. Now my hair needs conditioner, hair serum and a hot air brush to make it look presentable. I'm soon going to be 'needing' hair colour. Graying happens to everyone, I agree. I'm amazed at the how it speeds up when it is coupled with parenthood. Thank you baby for the Wisdom Hair.


                                                             *     *    *

You know how little kids say almost incomprehensible things that only mommies can understand, right? Before I became a mommy, I feared that when my time came, I wouldn't be able to do that well; that I would fail miserably and feel ashamed of myself for not being able to decipher my own little one's weird toddler-speak. It's been over two years since the beginning of motherhood and when I look back, I see that I haven't messed up altogether. I have figured out that audio means Oreo, thanthal once meant Water and dalo was Yellow. Now I know that loopuk means Look up and tandapis means Stand up. I know that the contextual meanings of kis can be Kiss, Biscuit and Squirrel. Multiple meanings of Kis; Ah! how convenient for the toddler.

                                                                *      *     *

Oh, and the questions they can ask you when they begin to talk! I remember the doubts I had when I was little -- Phew! I'd rather not go there. I often wondered what I would do when I became a parent? Could I be a know-it-all mommy? Hey new mommies and daddies, our stars are good; what would we do without the internet!
                                                                 *     *      *

Before I became a mommy, I carried a small handbag and don't even remember what I carried in it. Now I carry a big one and what do I have in it -- diapers, wipes, an extra pair of dress for the little one, some snacks, disinfectant wipes, a small bottle of sanitizer, a couple of band aids (you never know when u need them), a sipper, a small box of biscuits/cereals... In there are also some of my own things like my driving licence and debit card, lip balm and hair brush and all of that. I'm looking forward to shedding that weight and probably by then, it might only get heavier with baby formula, burp cloth and all.

More (raves and) rants in The Mommy Diary 


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Tamasha of the day

Our toddler who is almost two is in that fun phase of learning to talk. He's been learning a lot of Malayalam and reproducing it fairly well. (I'm a mommy, hence biased).

It's been a few good months since he learnt that very essential word for water - Vellam; but he's been pronouncing it as lla. Well, good for now, thought I until a few days ago it changed to thanthal, in an effort to say Thannutha vellam meaning cold water. (It took me a while to figure that out tho') Anyway, I let that be, too.

However, it was only today that I learnt that the thantha in his thanthal didn't really mean anything...he just picked that up from somewhere.

This morning, he asks me for water and I gave him some warm water because that was all there was. A few seconds later, he looks at me and says, "Chooda" (it's hot). 

I ask him what is hot 

And he says, "Thantal"

:)

(That was an LOL moment. For those who don't understand Malayalam, he was very seriously telling me that I had given him `hot' cold water. )